Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize