That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
