now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i need some magic done to my vagina
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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