Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You need Xanax blowdarts
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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