it hurts more in the daytime
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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