Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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