there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have fence marks all over my body
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
