a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
