told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
