The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize