Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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