so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Redeem this text for a blowjob
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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