My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
