areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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