The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
