what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
not ubering you a puppy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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