my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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