i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
