I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
