Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
