I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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