My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
