We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
