We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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