drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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