girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
