Will you blow on my dice?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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