because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
