Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
