how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
