Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
