I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
