just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
