So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
