And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
