oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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