Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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