we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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