I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
