I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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