Who did Billy Mays play for?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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