What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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