Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
