Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
