lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm both gender and math confused
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
