drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
