Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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