how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
