There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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