O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
