Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's never too late to be topless.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
