sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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