So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
