i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
