we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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