Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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