Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
