Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
