Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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