so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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