I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
