just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
