Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
