Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
