just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
